Monday, February 21, 2005

Urgent News From the IGCSAIPAFPR (The Intergalactic Crime Stoppers Association of the Interplanetary Affiliation of Federated Planetary Republics)

Faithful cadets, it always saddens me when a virtuous soul falls and turns to a life of crime. I have just received some urgent information from the IGCSAIPAFPR about just such an individual. Formerly known as the peace loving Dr. Quackmyre Von Dukkschitts the now notorious Evil Space Duck, his second in command Walter J. Pussyfuzz, and their murderous band of rabbit thugs have escaped from the maximum security penal sand mining colony on the barren desert planet of X Zeema. This band of criminals is wanted for countless offenses including, but certainly not limited to: premeditated theft of public lavatory equipment, unliscenced distilling of intoxicating spirits, gross endangerment of an elderly flying squirrel, bank robbery, unlawful solicitation of sexual favors to a political leader, bribing a librarian, assaulting countless school children with over sized novelty cowboy hats, and the rape of a 27 year old Welsh corgie named Pickles. These individuals should be considered armed and extremely dangerous, and with me having retired from the hero business, it's up to you, my faithful cadets, to be extra vigilant and prevent these fiends from raping any more innocent corgies. Here are the photographs i received from the IGCSAIPAFPR. They are displayed below

1 Comments:

Blogger THE Justin Dudley whose Century is HIS said...

This is where we seem to disagree. I do not view Dr. Von Dukkschitts as anything BUT a freedom fighter! While his methods are extreme and his taste in music highly questionable (the Backstreet Festering Genital Warts? The Spice Manatees?), he fights for the cause of good. He and his rebels have, on more than one occassion, secured freedom throughout the galaxy. This isn't shocking, since his family roots can be traced all the way back to the early 21st century to his great great great great great great grandfather, President George W. Bush of the former United States of America. Courage was definitely passed down through this family!

So stop posting left wing propoganda, Captain Walrus! The smear campaign has gotta stop!

Sincerely,

Captain Shrimpstain

P.S. Kevin remains the truest definition of a douchebag

11:29 AM CST  

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