Faithful cadets, today was yet another in a succession of difficult days. I attended the funeral of our dearly departed friend The Midnight Viagra. Being there today moved me beyond description, and seeing him lying there in that casket looking so vulnerable and at peace brought forth a deluge of fond memories: The day we first crossed paths at the annual IGCSAIPAFPR mass execution / clam bake, the time we saved Qandzar4 from total global apocolyptic warfare by showing old reruns of the Christopher Lowell Show, the time I was assisting The Howling Vulva with a slight wardrobe malfunction without the use of my hands, and he discovered us and chased me into the street brandishing a frozed ham shank, and of course the time when we took that White Snake cd and told that paraplegic kid that it was a magical Yigtorian healing disc and threw it into the deep end of his swimming pool.......ah those were magical times.
As I gazed into the angelic face of my old friend and mentor, and thought of how cruelly he had been cut down in his prime by our mutual arch nemesis the dastardly Dr. Puddingchairpandamcgee, I began to feel that old familiar fire withinin my chest, that all consuming flame that signalled that it was time to take my heart medication, but I also felt that long forgotten call to right wrongs and avenge the innocent. Could this old hero be taking his cape out of mothballs and once again be fighting for truth and virtue? I'll have to mull it all over. There are just so many things to think about right now. So we shall see faithful cadets, the PMS Arthritic Badger may once again fly galantly into battle, but for now this is Captain Walrus signing off!
