A Glimmer of Hope? A Fallen Hero Returns? Villainy Afoot?

Faithful cadets, what follows is a message i recently received from the Captain Bosworth J. Shrimpstain Estate, entitled "URGENT!"

I feel it's time to break the silence and that you have been kept in the dark for far too long. A few months ago the Intergalactic Space Association picked up a faint distress call from a "Boseefus T. Shrimpnsack". This signal, only about 15 seconds in length, described a kidnapping by a Dr. Puddingchairpandamcgee. Those who are familiar with the history of Cap'n Shrimpstain know that he used the name "Boseefus T. Shrimnsack" as an alias during the Ranch Dressing Wars of two decades ago (in which rival salad dressing producers upgraded from aggressive advertising techniques, to assault rifles and land mines). We know nothing further at this point and have received no new information regarding this Shrimnsack's whereabouts. What is known is that Cap'n Shrimpstain's body was never found by any of his relatives and friends. The official story was that he was "cremated", so we at the Cap'n Shrimpstain Memorial Society are rather suspicious. We'll keep you posted.

sincerely,

Stan "The Can" Marino (Representative of the Shrimpstain Estate and blacksheep member of the Marino family)

Rest assured, faithful cadets I intend to investigate this fully and will keep you posted on any developments.

Until next time,

This is Captain Walrus signing off!!!