Faithful cadets, here's proof that the newspapers will gobble up anything that's fed to them by a second rate brother of a quarterback. The newest issue of the
New York Times features a ridiculously overblown and completely fictious story claiming that I, the heroic protector of the cosmos, was some how involved with the mysterious death of my friend, colleague, and mentor Cap'n Bosworth J. Shrimpstain. I don't think that I have to tell you that I had nothing at all to do with the poor Cap'n's death, and I must go for now, as one of the FBI agents conducting the surprise raid of my beloved PMS Arthritic Badger has stated that he needs to seize the computer on which I am now typing. Rest assured, though, I will get to the bottom of this, and my good name will once again be cleared.
Until then,
This is Captain Walrus signing off!
I know you're behind this Stan "The Can" Marino, and I will rectify the situation.
