Faithful cadets, I'm giddy as a schoolgirl right now! Do you want to know why? I'll tell you why. I bought a hat! A big beautiful sombrero hat from Mexico of all places! Oh, and it's a wonderful hat with gorgeous embroidery, and sequins! Man, you've gotta see the sequins! They're just so glittery. I love sequins, and you know what? I love this hat. I think I could probably wear this hat just about every day, and probably will. I'll probably even sleep in it, or perhaps maybe I won't. It would probably get wrinkled and some of the sequins might fall off. I Think I'd cry if the sequins fell off, and let me tell you, sirs and ladies, it takes a lot to make me cry. I didn't even cry for
The Midnight Viagra or
Admiral Benton P. Shrimpwhatzitz......... I had something to say about him, but I can't remember. I do, however, remember that I bought a hat and I loooooove it! I also bought several bottles of tequila, but those are gone now. I still have my sombrero, though! I love my sombrero! Anyway, I'm gonna go look at my hat now.
Until next time,
This is Captain Walrus signing off!
PS: Cheer with me! H-A-T hat! hat! hat! I bought a hat! hat! hat! Look at my hat! hat! hat! I love my hat! hat! hat!
PPS: Oh yeah now I remember! I got this email today. I'm going to check it out when I'm done looking at my hat!
Captain Walrus...
It is truly me, Cap'n Shrimpstain. I am alive and well, though sadly I am stuck here in Boise, Idaho. I need help immediately. My estate is not answering my calls, I can't get into my blog, and I have no money. I can't get back to Beverly Hills and I'm going absolutely insane! I've been through a terrible, terrible ordeal and I wish to discuss it with you. You seem to be the only dear friend I have left.
Sincerely,
Cap'n Bosworth J. Shrimpstain
Boise, Idaho
PPPS: Hat!
